you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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