There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
