What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
