Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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