the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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