we have officially lost it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
