Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
