I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
