You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
