My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I want to make a zoo with you.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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