Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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