its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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