I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
