so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
