Will you blow on my dice?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
