it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
