now i know why i became what i already was.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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