apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize