i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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