he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
don't judge my taste in strippers
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
