just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she told me i tasted like america
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
