I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
