either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
