I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
