im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
