why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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