It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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