I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
