How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
