So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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