my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
