Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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