is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
