hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
