Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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