I think my fart just growled at me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
