sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
