just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
