So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize