You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
