I hate your face
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
