There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
