Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
