1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
