I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
