Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
