We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
