He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My vagina is officially offended.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
