I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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