I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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