i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize