there was a trapeze. enough said
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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