Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He kissed a someone with a penis
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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