Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
