how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
