so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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